The books are ready to go. Am I ready?
Ready as I’ll ever be.
Feelings? Excitement. Dread, Internal high standards that nobody probably knows about except me.
Will I sell books? A lot of books? Does it matter? Well, yes, it matters to me. It’s part of my income and livelihood, but it’s part of my wiring, too. I’m wired to get my expression out there…like any artist. I’m wired to want to succeed. I thank my mother’s side of the family for that — a strong workaholic strain that has crossed through generations. In ayurveda, this is the Pitta quality.
Does it all matter? Perhaps not. I have to be careful I don’t let my world get too small. There are things in the world that matter more than if I sell books today.
Does it matter? I’ve done many of these things now. It’s interesting to me that it’s just as rewarding to actually talk to a person about a book, or writing, whether they buy or not. And many of these conversations happen. It reinforces for me: Yes, this is part of my path. Yes, I am walking a true path for me.
So I try to be authentic. I’m being honest in admitting my feelings before such events. It’s a weird mix of excitement, nervousness, vulnerability, and the strangest kind of stretching I’ve ever done. I want to keep walking this path with authenticity.
Thank goodness for my cats, who keep me grounded and keep me laughing!!
One thing I’ve learned — this journey takes strength. We need to find the things that work for us in sustaining ourselves so we can keep walking that true path.