Writer and Life Coach

Understanding Personality Traits Can Help You Communicate Better By Cathy Dybiec Holm Picture these scenes: A boss who is comfortable with abstract ideas and little definition gives an employee a project and tells him or her, "Run with it." The employee, a detail type, needs more guidance and carries out the project with uncertainty and discomfort - or even fails to do it right. An employee is asked to run a brainstorming meeting for a small internal committee. During the meeting, the person's high energy seems to exhaust the group. And the leader gets little input for the effort expended. How many times have you experienced such miscommunications - with your boss, your coworkers or customers? One solution: Tune in to people's unique personality traits. It can make the difference between successful and botched communication. With a little bit of practice, you can learn to pick up some of the personality signals people send you. And you can fashion your communication accordingly. Personality traits may not be easy to spot at first. Some hints: Look for how people approach their work, observe what they're good at, and listen to how they communicate ideas. Here are some examples of what to look for: Extroverts and Introverts Does the person's energy come from within himself or herself or from external forces? Does the person with whom you want to communicate better like crowds and prefer to speak quickly without having to stop and think? A "yes" answer to the second question indicates you're dealing with an extrovert. Extroverts get energy from other people and prefer to communicate by talking rather than writing. If you're talking to an introvert, you'll notice the person needs more time than others to internalize information before communicating. Introverts get their energy from within and need a chance to think before acting. In the second anecdote, an extroverted meeting facilitator got little input from what was most likely a roomful of introverts. In that case, the facilitator needed to give the participants time to reflect before responding. Possibly, he or she could have offered them the chance to write down their thoughts before calling on them. The result: more effective communication and more useful ideas. Other hints: To communicate better with extroverts, be prepared for on-the-spot, intense verbal exchanges. Pick oral communication over written. To communicate with introverts, allow them the chance to reflect before they respond. Depending on the situation, you might use written communication to precede a verbal exchange. In other situations, give introverted people the opportunity to respond on paper. Abstract or Detailed Do the people you want to communicate with feel more comfortable dealing in abstractions? Or do they prefer to focus on details? What to look for: Abstract types: They show more excitement when they get a chance to use their imagination. They use their intuition "it just feels right" a lot. They may get some facts wrong, dislike devoting time to precise details and may question authority. Detail types: They rely on what their senses tell them. They're careful about facts, are good at precise work and easily accept the established way of doing things. Understanding these traits can, for example, be an important key for managers in figuring out what motivates employees. This can also help managers determine employees' strengths and weaknesses. In the earlier example, a manager told a detailoriented person to "run with it." A more enlightened manager would have realized that this employee needed clear definitions and expectations to carry out a project. The manager could have provided the structure‹in the form of timelines, goals, and an offer to be present for help that this employee needed. Additional ideas: To communicate with people who prefer to use their intuition, don't get bogged down in details. Be open to possibilities, and stick to the bigger picture of what you'/e communicating about. To communicate with those who prefer to rely on their senses, present factual information rather than possibilities. And give them clear guidelines to follow. Feelings Versus Logic If you saw a desperate looking person shoplifting groceries, would you say nothing because the person looked hungry? Or would you turn the person in because stealing is against the law and costs the store money? If you say nothing, you've decided based on your feelings. If you report the theft, you've decided based on objective analysis. People who use their feelings and values to make decisions hope to create harmony. They're interested in the person behind a problem or situation. And they're willing to make exceptions. Those who decide after objective analysis are more interested in weighing the pros and cons of a situation. And they may inadvertently hurt the feelings of others during communication. To get on their wavelength: Offer praise to people who make decisions based on their feelings and values. Stress the human element of whatever you're communicating. And be sensitive to the person's feelings. Organize your thoughts logically for those who decide based on objective analysis and logic. Speak in terms of ideas instead of feelings, and exercise objectivity and fairness. Planning or Spontaneity Do you organize your day with a list? Or do you find a schedule constricting and prefer to remain open to last-minute possibilities? People who like order in their lives are interested in closure. They work incrementally and prefer to complete one step before moving on to another. The more flexible types enjoy the process more than reaching the goal. They have a hard time making decisions and work well under the pressure of a deadline. To communicate with these two types: Present ideas in a linear, incremental manner to those who prefer order. Make sure loose ends are tied up and goals are stated. And be on time for meetings. Remain open to change with the flexible types. Don't press for a conclusion or decision until they've had a chance to consider all possibilities. When discussing a project, talk in terms of the process rather than the goals. One Helpful Tool Admittedly, personality traits may be difficult to assess accurately, even if you know the person well. One diagnostic tool that many find helpful is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. It's a psychological assessment tool designed to interpret the aspects of personality described in this bonus item. For information about it, contact Consulting Psychologists Press Inc., 3803 E. Bayshore Road, Palo Alto, CA 94303. Or call 1-800-624-1765. Sources: Introduction to Type, by Isabel Briggs Myers, Using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator in Organizations (2nd Edition), by Sandra Krebs Hirsh; and Strong + MBTI Career Development Hand Book, by Jean M. Kummerow and Allen L. Hammer Consulting Psychologists Press Inc., 3803 E. Bayshore Road Palo Alto, CA 94303. (published in Communication Briefings, December 1995) Cathy Dybiec Holm is a free-lance writer living in Cook, Minn.

Catherine Holm Cook, MN 55723 218-235-9096 cdholm@rangenet.com